Lifer Mom

Plans Change!

2010-01-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

I had big plans for this new year! My own personal resolutions of course: exercise more, scrapbook more, freak out less, yada, yada. But I especially had high expectations of how my school-aged kids would re-start the school year in 2010.

It went something like this ...

I would be up strikingly early doing a quick 10-Minute Trainer, getting ready for the day, reading scriptures, making my bed, maybe even getting lunches ready. By 7:00 I would gently wake up my two oldest boys. They would then proceed to take a nice refreshing shower, groom themselves appropriately for the school day, spend some time studying on their own, eating breakfast, and possibly even getting in some quality time with Mom at the mini foosball table before heading for the car at 8:30.

However, when my eyes jerked open at 8:20 and I frantically hurdled from my bed screaming in confusion, I knew that this morning would proceed in complete opposition to how I had planned. My 6-year old had just gotten up himself and was already attempting to wake his older brother. I threw up the light switches in the rooms of the younger two and sprinted down the stairs grabbing rain coats and backpacks out of the hall closet before quickly stuffing gogurts, crackers, and apples into plastic bags for the boys to eat on the way to school.

Somehow we still managed to pile into the car by 8:30 and as I pulled out of the driveway I couldn't help but chuckle at two closley related epiphanies. First, that plans have been trained in the delicate art of changing. They are masters, talented professionals, possibly even bred from birth, and why I seem to think that this will ever be different is completely beyond me. Second, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Kenward

2009-12-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this past Monday morning around 7:30am I found myself drenched and makeup-less at a local WalMart. The sun had yet to come up, or was possibly just blocked by looming rain clouds, and my family (currently on Christmas Break) was all at home still cocooned in soft warm blankets.

My reasons for leaving a down comforter and fleece PJs (other than to avoid mass crowds of course)? To find a basic, run-of-the-mill Ken barbie doll. And why would I lose sleep over a perfectly tanned plastic doll that seems to have an affinity for lightly applied makeup (you know you think so too!)? My adorable five-year-old daughter really wants one from Santa--and even Santa needs a little help now and then.

Seems simple enough, right? Well, not exactly, because just four days before Christmas, at one of the largest shopping centers known to man, there was not a Ken doll in sight. No surfer Ken, no prince charming Ken, nothing. Or, almost nothing. As I was just about to turn around and high-tail it to the next store, something caught my eye. He had perfectly wind blown hair, blood-red lips, and a manly arch to his nose . You guessed it, it was Kenward. Okay, so Edward really but he is essentially Ken in vampire form, so why not call it as it is.

So did I grab him, head home, and hope my daughter wouldn't mind trading the pretty boy original for a sulky alternative? Surprisingly, no. Kenward after all, is a star and as we all know stars only come with a price, in this case five times the price of his makeup-wearing counterpart. So, despite being a Twilight fan myself, I put Kenward back on the shelf for some dreamy-eyed teenager to purchase for her best friend (after all, she herself is in fact a Jacob supporter) and headed out into the rain to, you guessed it, high-tail it to the next store.

A couple of things worth supporting

2009-12-03T18:01:00.000-08:00

I've been sick for over a week and am just barely returning to the land of the living, but I had to publish a quick post about a couple of things that seem very worth sharing.

First of all, for those of you in Western, WA, on Tues Dec. 8 and Wed Dec. 9 Kitsap, Pierce and King Co. Papa John's will donate 100% of their profits to the families of the four slain Lakewood police officers. Pizza anyone?

Also, I was just informed by my mother-in-law that a blog, http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/, is holding an auction now through the 7th for the family of John Jones, the young man who died in the Nutty Putty Caves.

Favorite Things Cont.

2009-11-17T14:26:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Keri, Krista, and Kim (must be a K thing) for the great ideas. Here were some of the recommentations:

Clorox wipes (love these already, but will definitely be trying out my boys' bathroom cleaning abilities)

Kirkland brand 600 thread-count sheets (definitely buying these next time)

Umpqua chocolate peanut butter ice cream (never tried this but PB ice cream is my fav!)

Trader Joes easy mac (good to know)

Cricut (what exactly does the cricut do?)

Yoga (has anyone tried the haute yoga ... am I spelling that right?)

BTW, for those of you who are interested, at my Costco, the fresh tortillas use to be located in a wall refrigeration unit just outside the dairy alcove, but are now in a low refrigeration unit in a center isle (with guac, pre-marinated carne asade meat, etc.).

Lifer Mom's Favorite Things

2009-11-04T13:37:00.000-08:00

You know how I alluded to the Oprah's Favorite Things show in one of my recent postings? Well, now I'm actually going to pretend to be important enough to post a few of my own.

Official Disclaimer: I cannot promise that the reading of this post will lead to the taste testing of fine chocolates (unless you make a quick grocery run), nor can I guarantee the discovery of a baby blue goody bag under your computer chair full of posh prizes. I will however give my word not to send copies of LM magazine to your home residence.

As a final note before I begin my monologue, I would LOVE it if you would add some of your own favorites to my list (by means of the "add a comment" link). It is, after all, through many of your recommendations that I found most of my favorites in the first place.

Lindt Chocolate Truffles

I adore food, and chocolate of course is one of my favorites. But not just any chocolate; your run-of-the-mill candy bars, for example, are just not worth the time it takes to unwrap them (unless when desperate, of course). These Lindt truffles are by far my absolute favorite, particularly the dark chocolate variety! Oh, and definitely try them straight from the freezer. Wow! BTW, anyone know if these are considered bon bons? Hope not.

Steven Covey's, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

I am typically not a self-help book reader, which is what I imagine this would be classified as. I typically stick to old-english or fantasy genres. My mom, however, loves this type of book and tends to share on occasion. Maybe she's trying to tell me something. Anyway, this book is amazing! Really made me much more aware of my own actions, responses, etc. Teaches principles, not tactics, which makes it very unique and exceptionally worthwhile.

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

For me, this is a must! Thanks to my dear friend Julianne, I purchased this book about four years ago when my first child was learning to read, and now my third is most of the way through it. It has been so well used that both the back and front covers are MIA and the pages are marked and crumpled, and I don't mind a bit because it just reminds me of how useful it's been. It teaches children to read in a very systematic way (utilizing symbols and repetition), and helps the parent know what to do and say to help them learn. Try it!

Lansinoh Disposable Nursing Pads

I suppose the fact that these are disposable probably does not make them very eco-friendly, but use them anyway. If I could remember who referred them to me I would probably send them a box of chocolates (maybe even my beloved Lindts). After being a soggy mess with my first baby, and experiencing countless embarrassing moments, these were a dream come true for babies 2-4.

Tortilla Land Uncooked Flour Tortillas

Have you tried these? They are amazing. I will honestly never use another tortilla again (with the exception of recipes that call for corn tortillas) , unless forced by gunpoint, or unless Costco stops selling them--in which case I might actually shed tears in the checkout aisle. There really is no comparison to any pre-baked brand I've ever tried.

Okay, so now give it up. What are some of your favorite things??

Monday Madness

2009-10-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've just been thinking lately, that if I'm going to keep up with this blog, which I would really like to do, I'm going to have to make it a part of my every day life, and not feel like I have to come up with something terribly unique to write about each time (not that I've been doing that:)). So, as I just minutes ago finished an entry in my personal journal, I thought, "why not just put it into my blog as well?" Well, you may have a bunch of reasons why I should not do such a thing, but since I can't hear your feedback at present I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway. My apologies ahead of time if I bore you to death.

Here it goes ...

It’s about 10:00 am on a Monday and I have been in tears most of the morning. It has been, as always seems to be the case, a couple of very busy weeks. We have had birthdays, baptisms, Halloween events, Sunday dinners and just a hundred other things. Wow, it is really hard to keep up with life!

So this morning I was just very worn down from all of the fun and exciting things we’ve been doing for the past several weeks. I was in a rush to get M and B out the door to ballet and then the dentist, the kitchen sink was still piled high with dishes from last night’s dinner with the extended fam, a mountain of laundry was (and still is) growing upstairs, and I was very quickly losing my patience with Mae and what particular hair style she wanted for the day. So in my rush to get to ballet (already late) I somehow managed to destroy the garage door. I don’t know exactly what happened (if the pull cord got stuck in the car door or what), but somehow the door was part way down when I went to pull out and I backed right into it and pushed it out and off the track. AAAAHHHH.

Well, I immediately burst into tears, got Mae and Brooks out of the car, and called to tell Kevin what happened (actually I had to leave him a message). Anyhow, I couldn’t help but think what an idiot I was for letting this happen, and, of course, this made me reflect on all the million of other idiotic things I do and say all the time and what a horrible mother I am and how I can’t do all of this, etc., etc., etc. A full out pity party really. Finally I managed to calm down a little, call the dentist to reschedule (because my car is trapped into a partly open, partly closed garage), do the dishes, and then sit down in the office. I decided I should probably take a minute to pray and read my scriptures.

So, now to the point of my entry … I read the final couple of chapters in 2 Nephi (from the Book of Mormon) , both of which I really enjoyed (a lot about the scriptures and the Holy Ghost) and eventually came to ch. 33 vs. 11 where it says, “I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness.” So, of course, it is Nephi speaking, and by his “weakness” he’s primarily referring to his weakness in writing (although I doubt it’s limited to this). I couldn’t help but think though that the same is true of me (all of us really).

The Lord knows that I can be an idiot. He knows I am sometimes scatterbrained. He knows I lose things easily. He knows I have a newly formed habit of burning meals. He knows patience with children does not come easily to me. He knows I get overwhelmed and down on myself frequently. But regardless, He has called me to do the things I’m currently trying to do. He actually wanted me to mother these children He’s blessed me with (poor things) … it was not accidental. He wants me to teach my wonderful class of teenagers at church. He wants me to be involved with people in the community and school. Notwithstanding my own weaknesses He has still called me to do this work. And if I’m good enough for Him then I guess I should be good enough for myself as well.

Typo Alert

2009-10-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

An out-of-place "the" has sneakily entered my previous posting. I noticed it just a second ago, but it now seems to have gone into hiding. Not that you don't have anything better to do today than search for delinquent vocabulary, but if anyone finds it please let me know. I hate typos; although, just in my own writing, so please don't go and block me from all your wonderful blogs.

With much appreciation,

PWJ (Psychotic Word Junkie)

Nie Nie

2009-10-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

I have to say, I am not an Oprah watcher. I do find simple amusement in witnessing large groups of grown women jump up and down twice a year over a variety of posh items that they will be taking home with them in crisp trendy bags as much as the next gal (if I sound sarcastic here, I'm pretty sure it's just jealousy), but I just don't watch it. I have in the past and possibly will in the future, but at present my family seems to thrive more when I leave the the cable off as much as possible, and leave it to wash over someone else's family. The Oprah show, with all its clout, is no exception.

However, I was recently shown a recorded clip from one of last week's episodes and my life will forever be changed because of it. Many of you likely saw, or have heard from somebody else who saw, the segment with Stephanie Aurora Clark Nielson (long name, I know, but I didn't want to discredit her by shortening it), a fellow "lifer mom" with an insightful point of view on every aspect of living. For those of you who haven't heard or seen, Stephanie (or Nie Nie as she calls herself) is an amazingly delightful person (or at least she seems that way, and I'm convinced that what she seems to be is exactly what she is), and not because she is a burn victim who survived to tell of her experiences from a small airplane crash about a year ago. She is delightful because her view on life before it was almost taken from her suddenly, was just as refreshing and inspiring as her viewpoint now.

She happens to have a wonderful blog, started long before her accident, that she continues to share. Below are a few comments posted (I believe back in 2007) about her own mother. Sorry for not referencing it exactly (date, title, etc) but I sort of stumbled upon it and can't seem to repeat the same stroke of genius twice. The whole blog is definitely worth reading.

"In short, my mother survived because she was smart enough to see that a little bit of quiet time for her, made for a lot of personal time for us. If she fed herself, she would have enough energy to feed us. Her sacrifice came from giving up pride in the holy mother quest. And she didn't wear motherhood like it was Sainthood–she wore it like a smart pair of Nine West shoes."

Visit her blog at http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

So worth it!

Calm and Consistent

2009-10-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I helped to supervise a youth activity where a "ropes course" was the primary focus of a two-day event. It was an experience unlike any other I've ever participated in. We were split up into groups and then asked to do some very specific things in the outdoors that we would never find ourselves doing in everyday life: get our entire group (with a weight range between 100 and 250 lbs) over what was essentially an organic 10-foot high pull-up bar; think of how to relocate each individual member of the group through very narrow openings in a super-sized "spider web" (never using the same opening more than once); transport each group member plus a bucketfull of water from one small wooden platform to another (twenty feet away) with the use of a rope swing--oh, and without spilling a drop of water; and many other feats of a similar nature. It was exciting to see what the human body and mind are actually capable of when tested, but it was also exhausting, both physically and mentally.

Okay so why am I bringing this up? Well, I happened to learn many valuable experiences from this course, but one in particular. Whenever we didn't follow the rules exactly as we were supposed to, or accidentally missed the mark, or got a little too talkative, we were given "handicaps" by our facilitator (the no-nonsense educational psychologist in a green stalking hat and worn-out hiking boots). Now, I don't know if he was getting a headache that day or just plain sick of our chatter, but our first "handicap" was always a ban on talking. The interesting thing, though, was that although we were initially annoyed by this seemingly unfair treatment, it always seemed to help instead of hinder our progress. All the words stopped getting in the way.

So I was talking with my sister on the phone today, and we were discussing how insanely frustrating it is when children don't get ready for school without consistent encouragement (i.e., nagging), don't clean up their messes unless life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are seriously threatened, and seem to have countless other things that they plot to do and/or not do that will make mom want to pull her hair out. Anyway, with this experience hovering in the back of my mind I commented to her that I've found two things to be vitally important when dealing with these types of situations ... being calm and consistent. Both are equally important but in this post I'm going (I hope) in the direction of calm.

What are the main things that typically surface when we are losing our calm? Words, and lots of them! Sometimes not the nicest words. And unfortunately, despite the fact that we continue to spew them out, they never help. Okay, so I'm not suggesting placing a household-wide ban on talking, or giving our children the silent treatment. Although; when I got back from the trip, I did have a little fun with my kids and gave them a significant task to do without speaking a word (definitely worth trying out sometime). What I am suggesting, is choosing our words and when we use them more carefully and calmly, so that our children (and really all those with whom we associate with) will know that when we do say something it will be important and purposeful, not just useless static.

Just something to think about.

By the way, if you ever have comments (ideas, examples, etc.) regarding my very random posts, I would love to hear them!

Lifer Mom Explained

2009-09-29T10:27:00.000-07:00

So I figure I created this blog, now I'd better explain why. Why, when after years of prompting from my mother-in-law and months of encouragement from my husband to start a blog that would show adorable pictures of our four children and would perfectly catalogue the precious moments of our amazing life together, did I instead decide to first create a place for moms like myself to rally together and occasionally vent on the frustrations of living in a world where lifer moms are about as distinguished as a twenty-year-old balding goat at the petting zoo (yes, I do realize that was a very long sentence, and that this is a fairly ridiculous comparison ... it's just the first thing that came to mind)?

And here comes the amazingly philosophical explanation (drum roll, please) ... It's important to me! That's all there is. Seriously. I'm not going to spew out facts about how few families actually make it a priority for mothers to choose without embarrassment to consciously "mother" their children, or provide data about modern society and how it's falling apart because very few individuals actually value motherhood (and by motherhood I do not mean simply giving birth to a child).

The point of this blog is not to set the guidelines for motherhood: how much you should work outside the home, how you should discipline, educate, reward. That would be ridiculously snotty of me. It is also not to undervalue dedicated fathers (whose role is equally important, but that's for another blog) . It is simply to say "thank you" to other lifer moms out there; to give additional praise to those of you putting motherhood first; to recognize all of you who show daily (except for on bad days of course ... but we all have those) your acute awareness of how quickly childhood--and life for that matter--goes by, and understand that you will never regret investing more time and energy in your children.

Oh, and for those of you who are feeling very sorry for my dear sweet mother-in-law for not getting her blog of choice. I promise, a relatively cutesy and somewhat non-venting blog will be the next thing on my list!